My first two novels revolve around Samantha Merrick and her two main love interests — Jake Clayton and Tony Carteris. While SOUL MATES focuses on Jake, WHEN LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH is Tony’s story, set in our college years. The Tony character is a blend of my first two soulmates, and WHEN LOVE is the fictionalized version of our stories… Art definitely imitates life in my case, and life sometimes, strangely enough, finds a way to imitate art.
I blame my split from Soulmate #2 (whose name is actually Tony), on life imitating art. I had already started writing SOUL MATES when Tony and I were dating. At the time, I wrote in a story arc for dramatic effect that involved Tony getting another woman pregnant… Seemed like a great idea plotwise, until it actually happened (we were ‘on a break’ at the time). One of the many things I wrote in my book that ended up happening to me in real life. They really aren’t playing around when they say “Careful what you wish for…”
Tony still lives in town, and I see him around occasionally, but obviously we are no longer in contact. We’re friendly (I have this thing where I remain close with all my exes), but I respect his family enough to stay away. The last time I saw him, he actually informed me that baby #2 was on the way. Ironic how the ultimate commitment-phobe ended up trapped in his own worse nightmare. Life is funny that way.
I was driving home from the beach today, and spotted a cute guy on a bike towing one of those kiddie cars up the road. I slowed as I passed to get a better look, and sure enough ended up making eye contact with the real-life Tony himself… After two years… With his eldest daughter, now four, in tow. Craziness.
I pulled over, he stopped. We chatted for awhile. It only took a few seconds for me to realize that I’m still very much in love with him. (That’s the irritating thing about soulmates, you can never fully shake them). His daughter is beautiful, and it was quite clear that he loves her very much and is managing to be there for her the way his father never was for him. Unfortunately, that only made me love him more. But it’s different now. Maybe because I know we can never go back. Maybe because I’ve since met a man that I love even more. Maybe because I’m older and wiser and a true believer of the phrase “everything happens for a reason.” This time, when it was time for me to drive away, I just left. It wasn’t hard, it didn’t hurt, I didn’t agonize about turning around. Heck, I don’t think I even looked in my rear-view mirror once. It was good to see that he’s well, even better that he got to see how well I’m doing, lol, but the attachment isn’t there. It was a liberating feeling to not be at love’s mercy anymore, to be able to remember the good and forgive the bad… and walk away…
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