So a strange thing happened to me the other day… My dear friend Hyim, whom I absolutely adore, had a show at Porter College on Tuesday night, and I cruised over there to show my support. The show was out in the middle of the Porter quad, and the crowd was made up of mostly undergrads, many of them probably first or second year. It was so strange. As most of you know, I turned thirty this year, and am almost ten years removed from my college years. I still work at the University, and live in a college town, so I’m used to being around students. But when schools started up this year, for the first time, I feel so much older than these kids, like I’m part of a totally different generation. Until it dawned at me that I am a part of a different generation.

The thing that drove it all home was when I got hit on by this sweet, sweet boy. We’ll call him Smith ;-). So I’m sitting on the bench, waiting for the show to start when Smith walks by and asks me what’s going on… Never missing a chance to sing Hyim’s praises, I tell him my friend’s band is playing, describe Hyim’s sound/style, and encourage him to stay and check them out. So he does. Sits down right next to me on the bench and we’re chopping it up and hanging out the rest of the night.

Eventually come to find out that Smith is only twenty years old. A baby. I actually exclaimed, “God, I was TEN when you were born!” after he told me, LOL. He also could not Believe I was thirty.

“How old are you?”
“Guess.”
“Twenty-two?”
I had to laugh. “Higher.”
“Twenty-three?”
Shaking my head. “Higher.”
“Uh, twenty-five?”

I guess I still got it 🙂

Anyway, this blog is not about my brush with pedophilia, lol. Hanging out with this boy really showed me how much time has passed without me noticing. College feels like it was just yesterday, even though it was actually almost ten years ago that I graduated. I am no longer in my twenties (thank god!), and for the first time, I really see the difference. Sure a part of me misses the youthful idealism, uninhibitedness, and irresponsibility that marked my twenties… But I don’t miss the insecurity, uncertainty, and instability of not knowing who you are or where you’re going. I wouldn’t trade the calm and clarity I have in my thirties for anything. I can actually enjoy life now, with a seasoned sense of perspective. Older and most definitely wiser. I don’t know why people approach their thirties with so much anxiety and dread – this has been the best year of my life.

Smith did ask me for my number at the end of the night (he seemed to be digging the whole ‘older woman’ thing), which flattered the crap out of me (he is way, way hot and reminds me of an old flame who I’ve never really gotten over), but every time I think about dating him, it feels sooooo inappropriate. I mean, technically he’s of legal age, but just barely. LOL. Maybe when I’m 40 and start dating 30-year olds it won’t feel so icky 😉

Well, I have to apologize for my lack of blog updates lately. I know some of you check regularly (daily even! xoxo), and I have been very conscious the past week about how badly I’ve been neglecting my audience 🙂 I actually sit down every night with the computer and start a blog topic, but never finish them. I’ve had so much on my mind lately, I just don’t know where to start…

Processing this summer has been intense. I’m not sure if I mentioned it on blog before, but somewhere between Texas and Florida, I turned into a totally different person. I can’t even call it an epiphany cause it was much more subtle. I just woke up one day with this amazing clarity about my life and my path, and literally changed my mind about a whole bunch of stuff. Things I thought I really wanted – turns out, I don’t want them so much anymore, lol. Things I thought I could tolerate – nope, not anymore. And my to-do list is wildly impractical but I don’t care. I need to feel happy and fulfilled every second of every day. Anything less is just not good enough.

Well I’m sure you can imagine how difficult it is to sustain that level enthusiam back here in the “real world”. My old routine just doesn’t work for me anymore, so I’ve been trying to implement all these lifestyle changes, on top of the roommate changes, all while trying to finish WHEN LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH and spend as much time with Devin as humanly possible. There just aren’t enough hours in the day, and as a result, the blog suffers.

I did turn a corner this weekend though, and have settled into my “new” routine. Hopefully I will be feeling energized and inspired again soon, and I can return to thoughtful blogging (which I really love). But in the meantime, I thank you for your patience faithful readers 🙂

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
–Alan Jackson, Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center, the most vicious act of terrorism ever committed on U.S. soil. Trent at Pink is the New Blog, instead of blogging today about superstars and overexposed starlets, posted a full listing of all the Americans who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. Scrolling down the list really brought home the tragedy once again, the human costs, which tends to get obscured as this incident has been reframed to serve various political agendas. But I don’t want to rant about politics today. I just want to take a moment of silence to remember all those who lost their lives on that September day, say a collective prayer for all the families who lost loved ones, and reflect on how blessed I am to be living and breathing today. Life is a precious gift – we owe it to ourselves to live it to the fullest and not take a minute for granted. We also shouldn’t take any of the people in our lives for granted either. Take a moment today and call your mom/dad/sibling/best friend/old friend/whoever means something to you – and tell them you love them. I really think that is the best way to honor those that have fallen, to live and love as fully and completely as possible.

In other, happier news, one of my oldest, dearest most cherished friends FABY is celebrating her 30th birthday today AND an engagement! So I would like to take this space to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and CONGRATULATIONS to Miss Fabiola. I love you more than words, and trust me when I say, 30 is just the beginning of the BEST years of your life!

The famous saying goes – What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas…Well not this time… The bonds forged and memories made this weekend will be in my heart and mind FOREVER. Soul2Soul Summer definitely went out with a BANG.

The weekend started off kinda stupid cause I got stood up and flaked on by a girlfriend in LA which left me a little stuck and stranded for a minute. Thankfully I just came off five weeks practicing my flexiblity and resourcefulness, so I managed to salvage the night, even though I feared it was an omen of bad things to come. Fortunately, the weekend just got better and better and better.

Got to Vegas around 4pm on Saturday, met up with Miss Jane (my roommate for the weekend, xoxo), and then we headed over to the Luxor Buffet for dinner. The food was soooo amazing. I think I had like 3 plates of food AND managed to save room for dessert (oreo cheesecake, chocolate mousse AND this brandy cake with whip cream). I love food, so that really put me in a happy place 🙂 Unwillingly, lol, we tore ourselves away from the food and headed over to Mandalay Bay to meet up with the rest of the posse and see the concert.

I use the word posse intentionally, lol. There were a GRIP of us, from as far as New York, DC and Chicago. I swear, its gotten to the point where when I head off for a show, I’m not sure who I’m more excited to see – Tim or my girls. I’ve become ridiculously attached to some of these women (Iris, Colleen and Mom for SURE after partying with them in Dallas, Nashville, LA AND Vegas), and they just made this tour. McFriends freakin’ ROCK ya’ll!

I was so excited because I had a 3rd row seat on the opposite side of the stage from where I usually sit, and I finally got to see Faith perform Cry! JohnJohn also hooked me up with a 256MB memory card, so I got lots and lots of amazing video from that vantage point. It was a great show, as usual.

Afterwards, a group of us headed over to the Coyote Ugly to drink and dance. Colleen must be working through some latent exhibitionism, because the first good song that came on, she was up on top of that bar, LOL. Everyone except Mom and Jane joined her at one point or another, including me. I swear, the things I’ll do for my girls 😉

We were fully on Vegas time by this point, and Jane and I didn’t get to bed until after 4am… Then I had to get up 6 hours later cause there was much to do and see! Spent the morning laying out by the pool working on my tan, then hit up the spa, then met up with the girls for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Mama Karen’s 50th Birthday!

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!

After lunch, I squeezed in a quick power-nap, then headed back over to Mandalay Bay to attend the pre-party concert backstage. This was very, very cool. Lots of band members and random entourage folks (like Sherman, Tim’s video director of choice) were milling around where I was standing so I got to overhear some pretty random and hilarious conversations. And Joe Don from Rascal Flatts was there with his wife! I kinda flipped out a little bit at that one cause I LOVE Rascal Flatts. Anyway, Jimmy sang a song “The Illness and the Cure,” Billy came up and sang a song on request, I *think* Denny sang a song, then Tim and Faith came out. Tim sang “Suspicious Minds,” which Faith finished for him. And I think he might have sung another song but there was so much going on and I was a little drunk, lol. Then Faith sang “Lights” by Journey and they took some questions from the audience. It was a really intimate performance, and even semi-catered, so I enjoyed it.

I got a little emotional during the concert, choking up a tad when I’d realize “Oh, this is the last time I’m going to hear ‘Cry’ this tour…” and stuff like that. But the show was incredible and Faith was so on point it wasn’t even funny. I’m telling you, that girl can SANG. Since it was the final show, Tim treated us to 3 extra songs that weren’t on the original setlist – “Break Down” by Tom Petty, “Mama Tried” by Merle Haggard, and “So Good in Love” by George Strait. AWESOME! Then after “I Need You” everyone came out on stage for one huge curtain call and they were all hugging and waving, then walked off stage in one huge processional… *sniffle* I can’t believe its over.

I cannot even describe how much fun I had hanging out with these wonderful, wonderful, women this weekend. There is something so amazing about having someone to share your obsession with. I’ve never really had that before, and it just makes everything so much more FUN. I miss ya’ll so much, but you better believe I will be seeing you next tour! 🙂