The 7-Year Hitch

by Stephanie Casher on January 23, 2014

Last December, James and I celebrated our seven-year anniversary by getting married. After deciding in late-October that it was finally time to tie the knot, we threw together a very small, last-minute ceremony here in Santa Cruz. While I don’t recommend trying to throw together a “wedding” in under two months, it ended up being a beautiful day.

I’d been dragging my feet throughout our three-year engagement about making it official. I am a child of divorce, and had seen marriage ruin many perfectly good relationships… If everything was going great with me and James, why mess with it? Also, being an “independent woman” has always been a central part of my identity, and I didn’t want to give that up to be a “wife.”  The feminist in me has issues with the duties traditionally assigned to the role of “wife.” I’m fine with loving and honoring, but that obey part of the vows? Yeah, whatever to that!

Thankfully, the man I’ve chosen to spend my life with is not only my best friend, but someone who respects and appreciates my independent streak, and can tolerate my lack of traditional domesticity. I wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else, and since I’ve been thinking of him as my husband for years anyway, I decided it was time to dispatch my commitment-phobia and jump the broom already.

Though planning a “wedding” in two months was a nightmare (seriously ladies, just ELOPE–I’ve never been so stressed out in my life!), we pulled off a pretty magical day. A huge thank you goes out to Kelly Hemphill and Dara Crawford, who went so above and beyond to make me feel like a “bride,” helped with so many of the wedding logistics, and provided shoulders for me to cry on when I was getting yelled at by family members ;). Thanks to all our friends and family who made the trip to Santa Cruz to be with us, and those who were with us in spirit. Sunny’s Catering for the amazing food, and the phenomenal Devi Pride at Devi Pride Photography for the GORGEOUS wedding photos. Seriously, if you ever need a photographer for your wedding/event/etc, hire this woman. She has my highest recommendation–worth every penny! Check out this beautiful wedding video she made for us, that showcases her amazing work.

Six months later, I’m glad we did it. Aside from the rings we now wear, not much has changed in our relationship–for which I’m thankful. And we don’t have folks asking us, “When are you getting married?” anymore, which is great. ;) But probably the best part is that getting married made it possible for us to have our dream honeymoon, which shall commence shortly. Italy, here we come!

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