People seldom appreciate things fully until after they’ve lost them. This is a theory I’ve proven time and time again in my own life, and this week was no exception. You may have noticed the severe case of sun deprivation I’ve been experiencing. 🙂 I recently read a very interesting article in the Sentinel on Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is actually a legit psychological condition, that I am now convinced I have, lol. It bascially ties lethargy, depression, and weight gain to lack of sunlight. I knew it!!!

We all take things for granted. For some, it’s their significant others. For others, it’s their families or their jobs. While I’ve been guilty of taking all those things for granted at one time or another, today’s epiphany has to do with the sun. El Sol. The light of the world. And not just it’s gift of light, but of warmth, and the ability to stimulate new growth…

You don’t know what you got til its gone. Amen. But along those lines, you also never realize how much you miss something until you lose it, it comes back, reminds you how much you love it, and then leaves again. You follow? lol I did not realize how much I missed the sun until it decided to come out and shine on Thursday… The first sunny day in I don’t know how long… The same could be said about Pono boy and my Godson Ola…

Thankfully this sunny day coincided with a visit from KC and the boys, so I got to spend all afternoon at the park, not wasting a second of the precious sunlight. So good for me on so many levels. But especially because I got some quality time with my Godson, one of the many loves of my life, who is getting so big, so fast. Ola and his big brother Pono are two other sources of light in my world that I had no idea I missed until they came back.

I spent 2 of the first 4 weeks of Ola’s life with him in Maui, and when I had to leave him at the end of those two weeks, that was the first time I ever really felt like my heart was being ripped out. What can I say, I am bonded to this child. But with them living in Maui, I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I would like. As the months pass, it’s easy to forget how much it hurts to be apart, but then seeing him again… It just reminded me of the hole in my heart that exists not having this child by my side, and how much it hurts to have missed some major developmental milestones in his life…

But eventually another storm will blow through, covering the sun, and the boys and KC will board a plane back to Maui. So what to do in the meantime? Cherish every second I have to bask in their light, even moreso knowing it will soon end. And vow, for today anyway, to not take a single second of it for granted…

One of the other things that happens during a Mercury Retrograde is people from the past come back into your life. I got alot of that this Retrograde – from stumbling across ex-boyfriends on myspace (gotta love myspace, lol), to reconnecting with people I haven’t talked to in over a decade. A virtual flood of once-familiar faces, all of a sudden back on the scene, bringing with them memories of times and places almost forgotten. So strange, but at the same time, so comforting. To know that you came from somewhere, and that you touched people along the way. To be reminded that the bond of true friendship is not something that can be broken by distance or time. And to be able to cherish those trips down memory lane because they illustrate so beautifully how far we have all come…

I believe that people come into your life for a reason, to fulfill some kind of joint karmic mission. In most cases, when that mission is accomplished, people fade out, and you gradually lose touch. It happens, life goes on. But when someone passes out of your life, and then comes back — that signifies a cycle, a circle, interlinked paths that will continue to cross at intervals, for moments of clarity, support, and random infusions of love. It is a beautiful thing. I feel so blessed to be linked up with some wonderful and extraordinary individuals. It’s time to make old friends new again 🙂

In other news, I sent off another manuscript to another publisher yesterday. Yay! So that’s two now that are making the rounds. Work on WHEN LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH is temporarily stalled while I paint my dining room, lol, but I should be back in full swing, writing-wise, by next week. Finished my taxes last night, and maximized the heck out of my deductions to score a sweet refund – Yay! And the sun is shining today – Double Yay!!!! Is it finally Spring???

So I’ve been struggling to redecorate my living room for a while now… The process was stalled because I was having a difficult time parting with one of the couches (I tend to get emotionally attached to things). This weekend I finally got rid of the smaller couch, moved the furniture around once again, and have been trying to get used to my “new” space. “Trying” being the operative word.

Feng Shui is very big on the idea eliminating clutter and arranging a room to promote the optimal flow of energy in a space. Under the heading of, I need all the help I can get, I do my best to apply Feng Shui principles to my home. My random remodel is primarily motivated by the quest for good Feng Shui.

I am frequently accused of being rather inflexible, rigid, and stuck in my ways. I’m a Capricorn, and we are somewhat resistant to change. So as an experiment, I’ve been trying to be a little more open-minded when it comes to trying new things and instituting major life changes (hence the whole ‘author’ detour). But as I sit here in my “new” living room, contemplating which shade of yellow I should paint the walls, I can’t help but wish I still had my purple couch. Part of me longs to put everything back the way it was. Which, of course, is not possible. *Sigh*

Maybe, hopefully, I just need a few days to get used to it… I’m still technically in the in-between stages, so perhaps after I pick up a bookcase, some plants, and paint the walls, I’ll feel differently. I think I’ve definitely learned something important about myself though — that it’s not always in my best interests to force change. Some people need change to keep them moving and stimulated. But I also think there are some of us who know what we want, and what we like, and just want to sit still and enjoy it. You know? In any case, I’ll keep you posted and post pictures when it’s all done done.

PS: Daylight Savings Time Sucks.